cracked:

And a few short months later, the Dad Jokes began.

4 Lame Jokes You Start Telling as Soon as You Become a Dad

#4. The Beginner Joke

The first type of Dad Joke isn’t really much different from what you might find if you browsed around in the kids’ section of your local bookstore for titles like 101 Animal Puns or 101 More Animal Puns. … Jokes like:

What do prisoners use to call each other? Cellphones!

What has four legs but can’t walk? A table!

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stand-up-comic-gifs:

Kumail Nanjiani

fanboyin:

Stephen King being Stephen King
fanboyin:

Stephen King being Stephen King
fanboyin:

Stephen King being Stephen King

fanboyin:

Stephen King being Stephen King

bythepowercosmic:

Anson Mount as Bruce Wayne/BatmanJohn Hurt as Alfred PennyworthTyler Hoechlin as Dick Grayson/NightwingLogan Lerman as Tim Drake/RobinAnna Kendrick as Barbara Gordon
In my proposed solo Batflick, it would definitely not be an origin story. There’d be flashbacks at best. Batman would have been active for at least four or five years. Dick would already be independently operating as Nightwing. His and Bruce’s relationship would be similar to  theirs in the animated series. Bruce would have just started training Tim. There’d be at least one mention of Jason Todd, but he’d still be thought dead. Barbara Gordon wouldn’t be Batgirl, she’d just be Gordon’s daughter (for now).
I’d use villains we’ve never seen in film, before reintroducing villains that appeared in Nolan’s trilogy or past Batman films, in order to establish this new post-Man of Steel-universe. Guys like Anarky, Mad Hatter, or Killer Croc. bythepowercosmic:

Anson Mount as Bruce Wayne/BatmanJohn Hurt as Alfred PennyworthTyler Hoechlin as Dick Grayson/NightwingLogan Lerman as Tim Drake/RobinAnna Kendrick as Barbara Gordon
In my proposed solo Batflick, it would definitely not be an origin story. There’d be flashbacks at best. Batman would have been active for at least four or five years. Dick would already be independently operating as Nightwing. His and Bruce’s relationship would be similar to  theirs in the animated series. Bruce would have just started training Tim. There’d be at least one mention of Jason Todd, but he’d still be thought dead. Barbara Gordon wouldn’t be Batgirl, she’d just be Gordon’s daughter (for now).
I’d use villains we’ve never seen in film, before reintroducing villains that appeared in Nolan’s trilogy or past Batman films, in order to establish this new post-Man of Steel-universe. Guys like Anarky, Mad Hatter, or Killer Croc. bythepowercosmic:

Anson Mount as Bruce Wayne/BatmanJohn Hurt as Alfred PennyworthTyler Hoechlin as Dick Grayson/NightwingLogan Lerman as Tim Drake/RobinAnna Kendrick as Barbara Gordon
In my proposed solo Batflick, it would definitely not be an origin story. There’d be flashbacks at best. Batman would have been active for at least four or five years. Dick would already be independently operating as Nightwing. His and Bruce’s relationship would be similar to  theirs in the animated series. Bruce would have just started training Tim. There’d be at least one mention of Jason Todd, but he’d still be thought dead. Barbara Gordon wouldn’t be Batgirl, she’d just be Gordon’s daughter (for now).
I’d use villains we’ve never seen in film, before reintroducing villains that appeared in Nolan’s trilogy or past Batman films, in order to establish this new post-Man of Steel-universe. Guys like Anarky, Mad Hatter, or Killer Croc. bythepowercosmic:

Anson Mount as Bruce Wayne/BatmanJohn Hurt as Alfred PennyworthTyler Hoechlin as Dick Grayson/NightwingLogan Lerman as Tim Drake/RobinAnna Kendrick as Barbara Gordon
In my proposed solo Batflick, it would definitely not be an origin story. There’d be flashbacks at best. Batman would have been active for at least four or five years. Dick would already be independently operating as Nightwing. His and Bruce’s relationship would be similar to  theirs in the animated series. Bruce would have just started training Tim. There’d be at least one mention of Jason Todd, but he’d still be thought dead. Barbara Gordon wouldn’t be Batgirl, she’d just be Gordon’s daughter (for now).
I’d use villains we’ve never seen in film, before reintroducing villains that appeared in Nolan’s trilogy or past Batman films, in order to establish this new post-Man of Steel-universe. Guys like Anarky, Mad Hatter, or Killer Croc. bythepowercosmic:

Anson Mount as Bruce Wayne/BatmanJohn Hurt as Alfred PennyworthTyler Hoechlin as Dick Grayson/NightwingLogan Lerman as Tim Drake/RobinAnna Kendrick as Barbara Gordon
In my proposed solo Batflick, it would definitely not be an origin story. There’d be flashbacks at best. Batman would have been active for at least four or five years. Dick would already be independently operating as Nightwing. His and Bruce’s relationship would be similar to  theirs in the animated series. Bruce would have just started training Tim. There’d be at least one mention of Jason Todd, but he’d still be thought dead. Barbara Gordon wouldn’t be Batgirl, she’d just be Gordon’s daughter (for now).
I’d use villains we’ve never seen in film, before reintroducing villains that appeared in Nolan’s trilogy or past Batman films, in order to establish this new post-Man of Steel-universe. Guys like Anarky, Mad Hatter, or Killer Croc. bythepowercosmic:

Anson Mount as Bruce Wayne/BatmanJohn Hurt as Alfred PennyworthTyler Hoechlin as Dick Grayson/NightwingLogan Lerman as Tim Drake/RobinAnna Kendrick as Barbara Gordon
In my proposed solo Batflick, it would definitely not be an origin story. There’d be flashbacks at best. Batman would have been active for at least four or five years. Dick would already be independently operating as Nightwing. His and Bruce’s relationship would be similar to  theirs in the animated series. Bruce would have just started training Tim. There’d be at least one mention of Jason Todd, but he’d still be thought dead. Barbara Gordon wouldn’t be Batgirl, she’d just be Gordon’s daughter (for now).
I’d use villains we’ve never seen in film, before reintroducing villains that appeared in Nolan’s trilogy or past Batman films, in order to establish this new post-Man of Steel-universe. Guys like Anarky, Mad Hatter, or Killer Croc.

bythepowercosmic:

Anson Mount as Bruce Wayne/Batman
John Hurt as Alfred Pennyworth
Tyler Hoechlin as Dick Grayson/Nightwing
Logan Lerman as Tim Drake/Robin
Anna Kendrick as Barbara Gordon

In my proposed solo Batflick, it would definitely not be an origin story. There’d be flashbacks at best. Batman would have been active for at least four or five years. Dick would already be independently operating as Nightwing. His and Bruce’s relationship would be similar to  theirs in the animated series. Bruce would have just started training Tim. There’d be at least one mention of Jason Todd, but he’d still be thought dead. Barbara Gordon wouldn’t be Batgirl, she’d just be Gordon’s daughter (for now).

I’d use villains we’ve never seen in film, before reintroducing villains that appeared in Nolan’s trilogy or past Batman films, in order to establish this new post-Man of Steel-universe. Guys like Anarky, Mad Hatter, or Killer Croc.

(Source: mikelsens)

mysweetcupoftea:

Agent Hill is not proud of her S.H.I.E.L.D. ID.

(Source: lzbth)

letterstomycountry:

An Assistant District Attorney in the Bronx was recently destroyed in open court by a Bronx Criminal Court Judge. The judge was livid about the D.A.’s failure to turn over exculpatory evidence to the Defense during a rape trial. The Defendant spent eight months in prison awaiting trial, and the…

hugslucas:

ed sheeran’s becoming the leonardo dicaprio of the grammys

(Source: hugslucas)